Work
I started 4 small projects last week. Then I started a digital garden about some of it. Then I got sick so haven’t made progress on any of them. Now I feel terrible.
Health
Health comes before life this week because frankly it has been bad. My flare (going on 40 days now!) has me having flashbacks to 2019. I had a low-level headache for ten days - started Friday last week until yesterday, where it finally went away because of a physiotherapist Shruti made me call after I had a good crying session with her about how frustrated I was about how I can’t make progress with anything because my body will betray me. Who needs enemies with a body like this?? Regardless, it’s the one I must make do with. The physiotherapist worked some miracles with a few different machines and I have to go back today and tomorrow. I want this exact physiotherapist but 2km away from my house instead of 10km, so I am not spending additional time and money to access what will likely be a long term regularly scheduled relationship.
Life
I am doing too much. This was a bad time to fire my cook, but also maybe a good time because I would have been very frustrated at my cook. Called mum in tears asking her to help with food for the next week. She was so supportive and didn’t ask questions (though I explained too much so she didn’t have to). There are several benefits to having a good relationship with your parents in the same city - I am reminded of some of them.
There is a slightly intense conflict playing out in my life right now, and I suspect I will be feeling unmoored, bereft, afraid, etc over the next few months. Friends, please give me lots of physical touch and affirmations of your love. I suspect me reaching out to mum was also less about the actual problem (food) and more about wanting to know that dad and her will be there, that they will catch me, that they love me anyway.
I need to stop driving for a bit. Maybe ten days? I’ve been spending at least two hours in the car almost every day, because car pooling and seeing friends and taking advantage of the freedom of going anywhere without thinking about it (as much as you can escape the traffic calculations in Bangalore, I mean). But that posture is not good for me - and especially not at night, where there are also simply too many people who don’t know how to drive without the high beam on. I suspect half my headaches are coming from this.
I think I am also going to spend a lot more time at home in the next few weeks. I need to make it mine again. It needs to be a place of both rest and productivity. This will also force me to marinate in the context of the work I want to do. I have too many things to write code about, and too many things to write about, and too many things to learn about. I am hoping home can become a place of solace for me again.
Learning
I wrote some rap verses this week! I’ve been trying to write rap for a LONG time, and I finally decided to just write metered poetry and see where it takes me.
I took the beat from the bridge of Sapphire, found that it’s 96bpm via a bpm counter website, memorised the beat signature (is that a phrase?) and wrote some poetry that matches that beat. It rhymes at the end, with some slant rhymes in between, and it’s really sad and dark.
Then I wrote a response to that verse that sounds like Saweetie and is so playful. That one sounds better recorded than read out. Tomorrow some of us are doing a “rap day” - writing and producing some verses just cuz - and hopefully I can figure out mood and tonality and things like that then.
Ankur, Saket, and I have listened to so much “interesting” rap over the last few days. I appreciate the styles and what they do, but I keep coming back to my OG - Tierra Whack with Whack World. Listening to it again after a few years, and finally with some writing experience under my belt, I feel like this is doable. Not easy, mind you, but attainable. Fun. Of course, a hallmark of doing something well is making it appear easy. Nonetheless, one must have hope about these things.
I’d like to have a few one-minute songs out by the end of this year. Is someone keeping track of all the medium term things I need to do? Watch me complain that I’m doing too much in another week note three months from now.
Media Diet
Reading
It’s been a good few weeks for reading.
I finished Amal El-Mohtar’s The River Has Roots. There’s a significant musical component to the story, so I listened to it as an audiobook and I’m glad! It is an ethereal, sweet story of sibling love, childish promises, and riddles. The narrator, Gem Carmella, doesn’t seem to have narrated any other work, which is a shame. I also can’t figure out if the narrator is the same as the actress by the same name.
The story, while well done, seemed to draw a lot from the lore of Great Britain. It features heavily willow trees, Scottish sounding songs, fairy magic from Irish mythology, etc. I try and stay away from lore based in the global north these days. I don’t know the author’s background, and I’m aware there’s an amount of stereotyping I’m doing just going off of their name; but as a result, where this story was placed took me a little by surprise. Readers who feel the same way might appreciate Nghi Vo (and especially the Singing Hills trilogy), who has novellas out of a similar length and style but set in the global south.
I started reading Gautam Bhatia’s The Wall. I’m about 40% through. I am enjoying the premise, and closed system environments are always fun to write in, but there are a few issues. A lot isn’t clear. The characters aren’t established well enough for the reader to know why they did what they did. They also haven’t developed voices of their own in the story, which a good editor should have helped with. The world is well done, but perhaps a little more exposition was necessary early on to establish the “why” for the world as well. In one place, a character is referred to by an incorrect name.
All of these criticisms wouldn’t exist with a good editor. The Wall is published by Harper Collins! A friend said they have noticed this pattern of global south authors (India, Nigeria, etc) receive international recognition with a lower bar, especially in sf/f work. Authors in our ecosystem need different kinds of support, not whatever it is that is happening now. But I recognise that this is a hard problem to solve - publishing houses do run the risk of whitewashing all their authors instead, as Viet Thanh Nguyen’s article (from 2017!) illustrates.
I’ve also read 5 stories from the Book of Queer Saints collection. So far it’s been okay. I have straight up skipped some stories, and I probably won’t come back to most of the stories in this book.
Watching
More murderbot, yummy
Listening
Lizzo’s new album is a big departure from her first. Very rap heavy, very - how do I say crass but turn it into a compliment? On my first listen I thought it was a 4/10, but some songs were stuck in my head. This album also made me feel like rap is attainable. So I had to go back and give it another listen, and it gets a solid 7/10 in my books for fun replay and happy beats.
Justin has a new album out so now I have to listen to it, eargh. r/popheads has not enjoyed it so far.
Around the web
- Atharva’s start with AI post on the Nilenso blog
- Ratika’s 7-day challenges - I love doing series of challenges and I might do something like this one day too. Have added it to the to-do list.
I am not spending enough time in the feed reader I spent time setting up!